If you can afford to quit a job you hate, that’s great. Truly. But for most people, their basic survival depends on that paycheck.
When it comes to hating your job, I’m all for getting out… if you can.
The reality is that many people can’t.
Not because they don’t want to. Not because they haven’t thought about it every Sunday night or whispered “I can’t keep doing this” over their lunch break. But because the cost of leaving—financially, emotionally, logistically—is too high right now.
With today’s economy and job market, unless you’re financially secure, have a supportive partner, or a solid safety net, quitting without something else lined up just isn’t an option.
And yet, staying can feel unbearable.
That’s where most of my clients find themselves when they come to therapy: stuck between the fantasy of quitting and the impossibility of actually doing it. They’re exhausted, discouraged, and sometimes ashamed that they can’t just “be brave” and walk away.
But bravery looks different for everyone.
Sometimes bravery is staying put—at least for now—while finding small, meaningful ways to protect your sanity in the process.
The Myth of “Just Quit”
There’s a common narrative out there, especially on social media, that says: if you hate your job, you should quit. Life’s too short!
And of course, there’s truth in that sentiment. Life is too short to be miserable. But it’s also too real to ignore rent, mortgage payments, childcare costs, groceries, and the other very unromantic details of being an adult.
The advice to “just quit” assumes everyone has a cushion to land on. But many don’t. Many people are holding up their families, paying off student loans, or navigating chronic health issues. For them, walking away isn’t a moral failing—it’s a calculated decision about survival.
And survival isn’t the same as thriving. But it’s still something.
Accepting, Without Resigning
When you’re stuck in a job you hate, it’s easy to fall into one of two traps: pretending everything is fine, or sinking into hopelessness.
There’s a middle ground—one rooted in acceptance.
Acceptance doesn’t mean approving of your situation or giving up on change. It means acknowledging that this is your reality for now, so you can stop fighting the fact that you’re here and start using your energy more intentionally.
That might look like:
- Letting yourself feel angry or sad without judging those feelings.
- Setting clearer boundaries with work—leaving on time, saying no when possible.
- Putting your mental energy toward planning your next move, even if it’s months away.
When you stop using all your strength to resist reality, you can start redirecting it—toward yourself, your relationships, and your eventual exit strategy.
Shifting Your Energy Back to You
It’s draining to give your best energy to a job that gives little in return. Over time, resentment builds, motivation disappears, and burnout takes hold.
Part of surviving a difficult job is reclaiming that energy wherever you can.
That might mean finding micro-moments of autonomy in your day—a walk at lunch, music on the commute, connecting with a colleague you actually like. It could mean prioritizing rest, creativity, or time with people who remind you who you are outside of your job title.
Sometimes, it’s about redefining success. Instead of measuring your worth by how much you achieve at work, you might start focusing on how well you take care of yourself during a hard season.
You don’t have to love your job. You just have to stop letting it take everything from you.
Planning a Slow Exit
Leaving a bad job isn’t always a clean break—it’s often a long process.
You might spend months quietly updating your resume, networking, or exploring a new path that aligns better with your values. It can feel frustratingly slow, especially when you’re desperate for change. But even slow progress is still progress.
Planning your exit with intention allows you to leave from a place of choice, not crisis. It gives you time to gather information, build stability, and consider what you actually want—so you don’t end up jumping from one difficult situation into another.
And in the meantime, therapy can help you manage the emotional toll: the guilt, the fatigue, the feeling of being stuck in a life that doesn’t fit.
Surviving Comes First
Surviving is different from thriving.
And sometimes, survival has to come first.
That’s not settling—it’s strategy.
There are seasons in life when we hold steady, even in uncomfortable circumstances, because it’s the safest or most practical thing to do. Then, when the time is right, we move.
You can hold both truths at once:
- You hate your job.
- And you’re doing what you need to survive.
If that’s where you are right now, it doesn’t mean you’re weak or failing. It means you’re navigating real-world limitations with realism and care.
Your goal isn’t to fake enthusiasm for something that drains you. It’s to keep enough of yourself intact that, when the opportunity comes, you’ll have the strength and clarity to walk out the door.
And when that day arrives—whether it’s soon or sometime down the road—it won’t be an impulsive escape. It’ll be a grounded, self-respecting decision made by someone who knew how to survive until they were ready to thrive.
Because surviving isn’t the opposite of thriving—it’s what makes thriving possible.
