There’s No Timeline for Getting Over a Layoff
I’m seeing a lot of 8-step, 79-hour frameworks on how to “get over” a layoff. There are blog posts, LinkedIn articles, career coaches, even checklists promising that if you follow their system, you’ll be “healed,” “resilient,” or “back on track” in no time.
And yet, in my work, I’m talking to people who feel like something is wrong with them because they’re not “over” theirs yet. They’ve read the articles, they’ve followed the advice, they’ve told themselves they should be okay—and yet, the feelings linger.
Whether you were expecting it and maybe even wanted it.
Whether you were totally blindsided.
Whether it was handled with dignity and respect.
Whether it was handled incredibly poorly.
It doesn’t matter.
It’s still a loss.
And with loss comes grief.
Layoffs Are a Form of Grief
It’s strange how quickly we try to rationalize layoffs. We tell ourselves, “It’s just a job. It’s not personal.” Or, “I’ll bounce back—I’m skilled, marketable, resilient.” And while those things may be true, they don’t erase the reality of what’s happened.
A layoff isn’t just a change in employment. It’s a disruption to routine, identity, and stability. It’s the sudden absence of familiar colleagues, projects, and even small daily interactions that made your work life feel known. Even when a layoff was expected or even desired, there is still a loss—the loss of a chapter, a role, a professional self that mattered to you.
Grief shows up differently for everyone. For some, it’s intense sadness. For others, it’s anger or shame. Some people experience physical symptoms: fatigue, tension, even headaches or sleep disturbances. Some notice it creeping in gradually, surfacing unexpectedly at random moments—a familiar trigger, a LinkedIn post, a routine they can no longer follow.
There is no formula for this. There is no universal timeline. There is no “step 3: move on” that guarantees your pain will dissipate neatly in a week.
The Pressure to “Move On”
What makes layoffs so tricky is that they are socially framed as something you need to get over quickly. We talk about “resilience” and “bouncing back” as though emotional processing is optional, or worse, a sign of weakness.
So, many people feel compelled to minimize their grief. They plaster on a smile, nod through networking calls, update their LinkedIn profile, and convince themselves that they’re fine. But internally, the loss is still there. The uncertainty is still there. The self-doubt is still there.
And when you’re told—or tell yourself—that you should be “over it” by now, it adds another layer of distress. Now you’re not only grieving the loss of a job, you’re grieving your own inability to recover in the way society tells you to. It’s a second, quieter, often invisible loss.
Grief Is Deeply Personal
The truth is, there is nothing wrong with you if you’re not “over it” yet.
Grief is deeply personal. It’s different for everyone. It’s messy, nonlinear, and often unpredictable. You might feel fine one day and devastated the next. You might feel relief and guilt in the same hour. All of this is normal. All of it is human.
Trying to squeeze your experience into a foolproof framework is not just unhelpful—it can be harmful. It can make you feel like you’re failing at an emotion that is actually a sign of your humanity. Your grief is valid, even if it doesn’t fit into someone else’s step-by-step plan.
What You Can Do (Without a 79-Hour Framework)
Processing a layoff doesn’t have to be complicated, but it does require attention. It requires giving yourself permission to feel what you feel without judgment. It requires acknowledging that your work life and your identity are intertwined in ways that are rarely simple to untangle.
Some ways to start include:
- Naming your feelings. Sadness, anger, relief, confusion—whatever it is, allow yourself to recognize it.
- Acknowledging the loss. Even if a layoff was necessary or expected, it’s still a loss worth naming.
- Being gentle with yourself. You’re allowed to have complicated reactions. You’re allowed to grieve at your own pace.
- Seeking support. Talking with friends, family, or a therapist can provide space to process without pressure.
- Resisting timelines. There is no schedule for grief. You don’t need to “move on” by next week—or next month.
Moving Forward Without Pressure
A layoff is a disruption. A layoff is a loss. And with loss comes grief. That grief can be confusing, inconsistent, and uncomfortable—and that’s okay.
The most important thing to remember is that there is no shame in still feeling the impact of a layoff weeks, months, or even longer afterward. You don’t need to have figured it out. You don’t need to have a plan. You don’t need to be “over it.”
Grief isn’t a failure. It’s a natural response to loss. And giving yourself the space to feel it is one of the healthiest steps you can take, even if it doesn’t come with a timeline or a step-by-step manual.
If you’ve been struggling to “get over” a layoff, consider this your permission slip: it’s okay. You are allowed to feel what you feel, on your own terms, in your own time.
