One of the quieter sources of distress I see in therapy is the belief that people are supposed to love working. Not just tolerate it. Not just find it manageable or meaningful enough. Love it.
We’re surrounded by messaging that tells us the ideal life is one where we wake up energized by our careers, deeply passionate about our work, fulfilled by productivity, and constantly inspired by what we do for a living. “Love what you do” has become positioned almost as both a professional goal and a marker of psychological success. And when that feeling doesn’t arrive, many people assume something has gone wrong.
Maybe they chose the wrong career. Maybe they’re ungrateful. Maybe they lack ambition. Maybe everyone else has discovered some magical level of professional fulfillment that continues to elude them. I think a lot of people quietly carry shame about this, especially professionals who expected that after enough education, enough achievement, enough success, they would eventually arrive at a version of work that felt consistently exciting and deeply meaningful.
But honestly, I think we need a more psychologically realistic conversation about work.
Because it is completely possible that you might just not enjoy working very much. Not everyone does. And even in a “dream job,” that feeling of loving it might never fully arrive.
Spotting Burnout: Red Flags to Watch Out For
How do you know if you’re burned out? Burnout can have a way of sneaking up on us without us noticing. Here are some of the classic signs:
Fatigue: Lacking in energy and feeling tired, even after a full night’s sleep.
Decreased motivation: You’re not as into your work, hobbies, and daily activities as you once were. You may struggle to get excited about the things you used to love.
Increased irritability: You are more easily frustrated, and little things bother you more than usual.
Trouble concentrating: You might find it hard to focus, follow conversations, or make decisions.
Physical symptoms: You’re having headaches, muscle aches, and other physical symptoms that you didn’t used to have.
Insomnia or sleep problems: You can’t seem to fall asleep, stay asleep, or have good quality sleep.
Increased absenteeism: You find yourself missing work and other commitments more than you used to.
Feelings of helplessness: It may feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending cycle of stress and exhaustion.
Neglecting self-care: You may have slowed down or stopped your self-care activities entirely.
Tips to Manage Burnout and Reclaim Your Energy.
So you think you may be burned out; what next? While it’s true that the situation around you can be one of the biggest contributors to your burnout, there are steps you can take on your own that can help:
Be Kind to Yourself: It’s easy to let self-care slip when we’re busy. What brings you joy, relaxation, or connection? How often are you engaging in those activities? Try to make more time for self-care, even if only for a few minutes a day to start.
Reach out to Your Support Network: Do you have colleagues, friends, or family who you can vent to, commiserate with, or laugh with? Connecting with others can help you feel less alone and more supported.
Set Realistic Boundaries: Often, our tendency to overcommit in our professional and personal lives can leave us feeling depleted. Consider where in your life this tends to happen and re-evaluate your priorities. Where can you make changes?
